Grotto in Oak Brook: Don't Go There (Chicago Area Restaurant Review No. 58)

We were out in the western suburbs, so we decided to stop at the recently-opened Grotto restaurant. We should have kept going.

We started with wine by the glass. Lisa had the old stand-by, Rutherford Hill Merlot, to make up for a difficult experience trying to choose tile for a bathroom remodel. As always, the Rutherford Hill had a good, fruity but not too sweet flavor and was very soothing. Steve had an unremarkable St. Francis Zinfandel.

At this point, we should comment on the overall feel of The Grotto. Everything here struck us as amateurish, particularly the waiter, who punctuated everything he said with "No problem," which became a big problem for us, Steve particularly. Also, the service was uneven and seemed very disorganized. Plus, some sort of flying bug landed on Steve's bread and wine, leading him to abandon them quickly.

Our appetizer couldn't have been worse. How does one ruin a shrimp cocktail? Ask the folks at Grotto. While the shrimp were big, which we usually like, they tasted fishy, and nearly rancid. Moreover, the sauce was fairly repulsive. It was strong but not tangy as we'd expect from shrimp sauce. We couldn't even finish a four-shrimp serving.

This really put a damper on the meal from the start, but things didn't particularly improve. Lisa's salad was fairly good, mixed greens with gorgonzola cheese and pear (so that was something) and Steve's wedge was also acceptable, but not great. The main course was another (sad) story. One of the reasons we tried Grotto was because it featured bone-in filet, which our devoted readers know is our favorite cut. We can't see how this version, however, could not have been anyone's favorite cut. It was basically tasteless, even close to the bone and both steaks were cooked closer to medium than the medium-rare we'd ordered.

For dessert, Lisa had spumoni, which was fine. Steve ordered cheesecake with seasonal berries. When he asked what the berries were, the waiter said, just whatever they throw on. And he was, in fact, right, because the cheesecake itself (which was quite bad) was accompanied by four or five types of berries, seemingly randomly strewn across the plate.

The bathrooms were perhaps the best part. Both were very solid, clean and well-decorated, with coppery-colored tile and wood, and plenty of warm water and towels.

Dinner for two, with wine by the glass, was $185 (please save your money and don't go here).

Our ratings for The Grotto, 3011 Butterfield Road, Oak Brook, Illinois:

4 of 10 Steak Knives (and that's giving it the benefit of the doubt); 2.5 of 3 Bathroom Brushes